Friday, February 11, 2011

We are an imbalanced teeter totter

There are days, weeks that just seem to float right along the path of life. All things seem pretty good, plans are being made, relationships are intact, dinners are cooked, bills are paid, life is going along at a pretty good clip. And then BAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What causes the BAM? It must be huge, it must be something so big that I could see it ahead of time. Right? It must be heading toward me like an iceberg to the Titanic.

NOPE. It is small, it is barely visible, it is like a germ, a vapor of air, a breath....

It is simple, like a cold. How can a cold make grief hit me like a sledgehammer? It makes my body tired, it makes my mind weak and it can cause me to not be able to manage my grief like I usually do.

What many people don't understand is that the smallest cold, the smallest down time, the smallest event can weaken our spirits, our minds and cause us to spiral fast and hard. I ofcourse never got this before losing DJ. How can a cold make you sad? Sounds stupid, moronic doesn't it. But it can, the slightest tweek in our world, the smallest inbalance can throw us completely out of whack. After losing a child the mind, the body, the soul is on a fairly unstable teeter totter. One thing, the smallest butterfly landing on one side can throw us off balance. Everything is connected even when it doesn't seem it should be.

So here is my challenge to us all--watch out for those small things--when the lack of sleep comes, when the cold triggers, when the butterfly lands realize it. It is probably causing the downward spiral of grief you are on. It may not just solely be the loss of your child, it may be a very little thing turning your life upside down. For those of you around us please don't think the cold is an excuse to mourn, that the lack of sleep we may be dealing with is just a reason to stay in bed extra long. The little things in the world effect us differently now and they can cause a chain reaction of grief for us.

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