Thursday, February 24, 2011

Meaning of bittersweet

I never understood the meaning of the word bittersweet before. Atleast not until now. I have had two events this week that have made me completely aware of it's definition.

Number 1-We finally sold our home, it took over 18 months on the market, 2 real estate agents and 9 deals to get it sold, but it is finally sold. The house deal was a trifecta--buyers A want to buy buyers B house and B buyers want to buy our house but in order to complete the deal buyer's A want us to rent their house for a year. In this market you have to be creative to get the deals done, that's for sure!! Also the house we are renting is 4 blocks away-on the same street as the house we lived before this one--that was when my family was whole and complete. To drive to the house I have to drive on the same route that I drove to get to DJ's accident, it happened just a few blocks off this main road. Also on this same route we used to live in another house where again, my family was young and fresh and happy. (We only move a few miles away at a time).

Number 2-My book is finally done. After a year and a half of interviewing, writing, rewriting, editting, reeditting and waiting and waiting it is finally in my hands. I am meeting with the families I interviewed tonight for a private book event and then this weekend I'm having my first book signing at Jones Bros Cupcakes in Omaha 7 to 9 pm(You may have seen them on the Food network on Cupcake Wars--they are wonderful!!).

So here are the bittersweet parts--

Bitter--I sold my house. I have to move away, I have to pack, I have to move away from the memories of DJ and my family being intact. I have to live in a house for a year that is along the same route as DJ's accident. I never wanted to live back by this road--didn't even look at houses along this route when we were looking to actually buy. I have to travel by two houses that I have wonderful memories of that are no longer a reality--and yes I know the memories are in my head but the constant reminder doesn't sound like a lot of fun.

Bitter--my book is done and people are asking me what it is about. I then am reexplaining DJ's accident, his death. I am telling them the reason that I chose to write it. I am bringing back all those memories as well, retelling, reliving, re, re, re.

Sweet---I SOLD MY HOUSE--finally, finally, finally. We got the deal we wanted except the rental part-but yes it is finally sold!!

Sweet--my book is done. I am so hoping this will be helpful to families that lose children. I needed a resource that I didn't need to read 100's of pages to get one piece of useful information. Every page you open up in my book has helpful information on it--every page is a recourse! It's sweet because loving members of the family can hopefully help those that lose children--and maybe, just maybe they won't compare the loss of their child to that of their dog--ugh. People will see our struggles, our little piece of hell and maybe understand us a little better. It's sweet because the 14 families interviewed will have their children's stories told.

Why is God putting me in this house? This is a big city--what in the world are the odds of this? Apparently pretty good when God is involved. I was expressing this in my bible study this week and someone said maybe so you can "heal". No, I am healed enough thankyou!! But I am thinking perhaps this is God's way of saying, you can move on now--it is time to move forward in your life--it is time. I don't know really, I do know the older I get the more I realize I don't know so this may all just be ramblings of a bittersweet brain.

Life is full of bittersweet moments---I love my boy DJ--so sweet, I miss my boy with an unbearable grief--so bitter. The list could go on and on. Here is my hoping that you all have sweet memories of your loved ones today and that you keep the bitter ones away!! God Bless all of us-truly, Lisa

Flowers on a Child's Grave, Now What? Available in ebook at flowersonagrave.com will be available on my site in paperback very quickly--having internet cart issues. You can call me though and I will mail you one at 402-616-1256

1 comment:

  1. I definitely know that bittersweet feeling, but I think your right about it being a way to move on. I don’t think that you have to leave those memories in your former house. You can always take them with you in your heart. I think a good prayer for the old house is that the new occupants will love it as much as you do, and that the house protects them at all times.

    ~ Ofelia Bertrand ~

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