Monday, June 18, 2012

I saw death today

Today I had to go into a client's home to cancel a listing.  The reason was because my client was dying and is now in hopsice care.  Her eyes were so discolored that I couldn't see any of the white at all, both eyes were dark and sickly looking.  I went to hug her and she was flat out skin and bones.

What I saw in her was death, she is just awaiting the ending. 

DJ lived his life until the very last second.  He was with his best friend when he died, he was skateboarding at the time--living a life full of passion and drive and joy!  This poor woman was sitting in a chair in her home while her family was picking away at her bones, figuratively speaking. 

Which way to die is better? 

Living a long life, watching your spouse, children die and then have what is left of what you own become pickings for the family.  Living a long life with lots of stories to be told but being told to no one because no one is really listening.  Just waiting to die to be reunited with your spouse, waiting while you watch your family pick apart your things, pick apart the home you have lived in for over 40 years.  Waiting to die to find passion again.  Or....

living a short life full of passion, full of intensity and friends and family that love you.  Dying while the wind was still blowing in your hair? Dying with your best friends around you, leaving this world knowing that everyone loved you and you would be missed by immeasurable levels by your family and friends.

Do not get me wrong, there is no way for a child to die that is right!  No parent should bury their child but this day did make me think...It made me thankful that I did not have to watch DJ suffer, that he was doing the thing in life that made him the happiest in the world up to the last second of his life.  That he lived until he died and for that I am thankful!  I did not have to see death in DJ until he was gone, until he was already with Jesus and living a life of full passion in heaven.  For this I am greatful, for this I am sorry for my client.  For this I am saddened for her loss of life so late in her days. 

I do not want to live a life that is dead.  I want to live a life that DJ would be proud of, a life full of passion and joy and love and friends, and family!!  I want to live this type of life till my last breath, be it in 5 days or 50 years.  I miss my son everyday and I wish I could see him tomorrow but until Jesus calls me home I remain here--but I do not just want to wait for that reunion anymore.  I want to live while I await that day.  I want to have so much to tell DJ once I see him again, I want to tell him of so much!! 

Chose to live a life your child would be proud of, maybe even jealous of if they were still living.  Chose to live and not just wait, chose to tell those stories, chose to love the ones you can, chose to be alive again!