Thursday, October 14, 2010

Why do I blog?

Why do I blog? I was talking to a close friend today that reads my blog, I don't ever really talk to anyone that reads it-I know you're out there but I just don't talk about my blog much. Anyhow we began discussing it and she was appreciative of how honest I am in my writing of it. I asked her if she knew why I started writing my blog or even the book and she didn't know which made me realize that most of you probably don't so here is the scoop...

I had a very close Christian friend of mine compare the loss of DJ to the loss of her dog a few months after his death. I couldn't believe she of all people was saying it to me. She had been my spiritual mentor for years, she was a strong mature Christian, she already had great loss in her family and knew what it was like to lose an actual person-not just a dog. I just had to walk away from her when she was talking and try to tune it out, I was dumbfounded by her ignorance. I know many of you are dog lovers so please don't get angry with me or tell me about the great love she had for her dog, etc. You all know I have too many dogs in my world and yes even though I pretend I don't, I do love them all but I would never consider them to be of equal importance to that of my children.

No parent should ever have their child's death compared to that of an animal. It is painful and hurtful. The pain is not the same as losing a child as that of a dog--they are not even close. As I have interviewed people I have discovered that this happens often and people say very stupid and hurtful things out of ignorance. Can you tell I am still angry about this? It so upset me that we are no longer friends.

Anyway, I didn't want another parent to hear those words, I didn't want pain to come out of people's ignorance. Please don't get me wrong, I have said stupid things to people at times of loss, I didn't mean to say stupid things but no one told me any differently.

With this blog and with my book I want to first and foremost help families that have lost children, help them survive this new and different life that they now have without their child. To help them with new horrible challenges they will have to face that they aren't even aware of yet. I needed a book after DJ passed away with real things that I could do with his clothes, etc and real information on how this was going to affect every aspect of my life forever. But I also do this so friends and family members of these grieving families learn how to help and support them and to have better understanding of what is really going on in their loved one's world.

I don't ever want to hear another loved one's child's death compared to the death a dog.

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