Thursday, October 28, 2010

A tail spin and thankfulness all in one

I was watching a morning show the other day and an author was being interviewed. He had questioned nurses and doctors that had worked hospice care for many, many years. I don't know all the details of his book or the title but I believe his last name was Kessler if anyone is interested in reading it. I however won't be able to because I am sure it would send me into a depressive tailspin. The reason I am telling you all this is because there was something he said that really touched me and made me cry my eyes out while I was taking my (almost) daily walk.

The author hadn't believed in the after life before his interviews. He believed most things could be explained like the bright light/tunnel because of excessive medications given to patients at the end of their lives, etc. However before the author's father died his father was acting miserable and was full of despair (apparently he was ill for a long time) but then one day he was full of joy and acceptance. The man asked his father what the change was and he said he had been visited by his wife who was already in heaven and she told him that she and others that loved him would be waiting for him after he died. So okay, I am still good with all this, no tears yet.

The next thing the author states is that the doctors and nurses told him that people about ready to pass away would almost always look to the left corner of a room and see their mothers. That the mothers seemed to almost always be the ones that were being seen and awaiting the loved ones. This is where it started to get hairy and heart wrenching for me because I realized my son DJ did not have me or anyone that he knew in heaven awaiting him. His grandfather-my dad Augie-had died when DJ was just over one years old but DJ would not have known him. This is what caused the tears while I was walking (some people cry when they drive, I am good at crying while I walk).

But after all the tears and awful searing pain to my heart God reminded me of my letter from my friend (see blog about best birthday present ever). God is good and he brought back to me the memory of Jesus sitting next to DJ. Who better could DJ have been greeted by? There is no one on earth who loved him more than Jesus and DJ knew Him and knew His voice. DJ may not have seen me, I may have not been there to greet him but Jesus was and for this I am thankful. Someday I will get to see DJ and he will great me and for this I am grateful. What a reunion it will be!

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