Monday, October 11, 2010

Grief has a high price tag!

I haven't blogged for awhile. I have been thinking about it the last few days and haven't been able to figure out why I can't think of anything to write. I have lots of information in my head about surviving the loss of a child, of my DJ. I have lots of great quotes from the families that I have interviewed for my book but somehow they are all in my head and not able to come out.

I finally got a hold of it this evening. Grief takes away your creativity. I know this, I have had to deal with it a long time but I forgot. It will come back to me again, maybe even in a few days. Grief takes away lots of things silently. It takes so many things away and steals things without your knowledge. And ironically it can add things as well. For my husband his creativity flourished after DJ passed away. He is an amazing artist, he can paint, sculpt, draw--it all comes relatively easy to him. After DJ's death he drew to escape and eventually all of his grief turned into a book series titled Captain Tag. Would he have done it without the grief, I believe the answer is a definite No. He needed to draw to escape the grief so in this way it gave him the creativity. It's a wierd circle. I know people who got heavily into music, others who got into photography and writing. So I guess it adds but it has an absolutely horrible price tag!

Tomorrow is my 43rd birthday, DJ's visitation was on this day 4 years ago. He was buried the day after my birthday-tomorrow I will share the best birthday present I ever got and suprisingly it was on DJ's visitation day from a dear friend.

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