Thursday, January 20, 2011
Spring cleaning for the Soul
I have been decluttering my house lately. Getting rid of things in my cabinets I don't need anymore. Cleaning the cubbards and just general organization. It must be the hope, thought of spring that is in my brain making me Spring Clean really early.
While I was cleaning out the cabinet where my coffee supplies are stored-cups, coffee filters, sugar, etc it occurred to me that there was another area in my life that needed decluttering badly. What area may you ask--well it is the area of lack of faith. What an odd thing to declutter you are probably thinking but I realized that I am struggling with my faith lately. Not in the fact that I know Jesus personally, not in the fact that He has held me up especially the last 4 plus years since DJ passed away. But the fact that I just don't have the faith in my prayers anymore.
What, am I so stupid to forget all the things God has done? All the answers to prayers He has given me. All the times He has kept me safe even beyond my own knowledge. My head knows all of these things. I have no doubts that Jesus is there for me but the older I have gotten the less I have discovered that I know and lately it just seems that I have lost all faith in prayers. All faith that He is listening or will do anything to change anything in my life.
Then, duh it occurs to me that I do not have any right at all to be doubtful of God. It is not my place to question whether or not He is listening to me. I need to declutter the junk in my brain that is not giving me the confidence I once had in my prayers and in God.
It is not God cluttering my brain with doubts. It is not God that has placed that anger and frustration and depression in me. It is me. I used to have those assurances of faith memorized. I used to know the scriptures that would hold me up when I was doubting or in pain or puzzled.
It my choice to declutter my brain, my heart, my spirit. It is my job to fill up my brain, fill up my heart with His words, with His assurances, with His presence.
I have taken old useless coffee filters out of my cubbard. I have wiped away all the crumbs of sugar and coffee. I have replaced the free space with coffee cups and jugs....
I need to take out all the doubts out of my heart and soul. I need to wipe away the anger and frustration with God's Holy Spirit. I need to replace these hurts and disappointments with God's word and His assurances. I am wonderfully made, He has chosen to me to be His. I need to remember, I need to KNOW this.
I am working on decluttering myself today--if there is anything you need to rid yourself of I challenge you today--Spring cleaning is for the soul too!