Monday, January 3, 2011

Creating a legacy at a high cost

My husband Donnie and I were talking the other day about what we have gone through over the last few years, throughout our marriage. We were looking back because the anniversary of our first date 24 years ago was coming up--it made us reflective.

Anyway the result of the conversation was that we are going to be leaving behind a legacy, one at an an extremely high cost but a legacy for the generations ahead of us.

What is this legacy?

It is that we have survived the death of DJ. We have survived physically, mentally, emotionally. We have survived on so many levels. Our marriage has survived so far and our children are still intact and we haven't gone into the loony bin yet.

We aren't perfect, we haven't walked a clean and easy road. It has been full of bumps and bruises but we have so far survived. I say so far, I use the word yet because this walk isn't over yet and any given day may change the outcome of this survival--I am not a pessimist but a realist and I have seen too much to take anything for granted. All this aside--we have survived and this is the legacy we have set in place for our family and even our friends.

Someday when my children or friends are struggling in their marriage or their lives seems a little tougher they will be able to look back at our legacy and see that we worked through far worse. We stood on the strength of Christ and kept our heads up even when we wanted to dig a hole and stay in it. There is no pride here, there is no "look at me" here--this legacy has come at the highest cost a parent can pay--the loss of our boy DJ. I know exactly where my strength has come from and there is no pride in it--only humble spirit and thankfullness.

My legacy, that of our family, that of my children will be that we survived and that is the legacy that we all have an opportunity to create. Don't give up if you are struggling, don't allow the pain to become too much that you cannot stand anymore. Find your strength-mine is Christ-mine is knowing that someday there will be a reunion between DJ and I, mine is knowing that God is in control and holding me up everytime I fall. Find strength, find a legacy to leave behind--the cost has been so high for us as parents but that legacy can continue on for generations to come.

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