Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Broken hearts to mend
I watched my young son Jake walk into his guitar lessons yesterday and my heart was broken into a million pieces. It can happen that fast, a heart can be shattered like glass in just a whisper or in just a glance. Yesterday was such a day for me.
Jake was wearing a stocking cap and dark straight leg jeans. As I was watching him it occurred to me that he looked just like his guitar teacher. They were walking into the building together to prepare for the lesson and I realized that Jake was beginning to take on this young man's walk and dress. Jake's teacher is a fabulous kid, a great example of honest character, a good Godly young man BUT what broke my heart is that Jake is looking up to him, dressing like him because he doesn't have his oldest brother DJ in his life. Jake did not get that chance to evolve into his older brother. DJ was 13 when he passed away and Jake was just 8. There were lots of play times, lots of being together for the two; but during Jake's formidable years he doesn't have his brother DJ to look up to and get guidance from.
I'm not wanting Jake to turn into DJ, I just was so saddened by the fact that he is not here to be with Jake. That Jake got completely robbed of the relationship with DJ during his teenage years. That Jake doesn't have that confident in a brother that only siblings can have and it just further breaks my heart for him.
I am thankful Jake has his guitar teacher and other young men to look up to--every growing teenage boy needs good examples of men.
But here is my challenge today to you all...Who will all the other children that lose siblings look up to? Who will become their guide in their life besides their parents? So many children pass away every day but the entire dynamics of the family change after and most likely a sibling has lost a friend in a brother or sister. Maybe you are that person. Maybe you should be that person. Maybe you aren't even aware of the fact that you are already that person. There is no way to replace that sibling ever! But there is a void that needs help being filled.
Jake's guitar teacher has become that older person for him. I am sure he is not even aware of it and I don't want to tell him. I don't want him realizing that a heavy burden has been placed upon him by Jake-one I don't even think Jake realizes. Jake is fortunate that we have found good young men for him to be around but what if we didn't? The world is full of so many challenges and people are constantly searching for something to numb the pain or to help the hurt.
You may be that person today--look around you and see the world. Look around and see the children that have lost their siblings. Just perhaps you are that person to help that child along the way. So many people know that mother's hearts are broken after a child dies, but guess what? So are the siblings hearts that have been left behind. Perhaps you can help mend one.