Well I guess when it rains it pours and today it is pouring. I had to take in our german shorthair dog, Hershey to the vet today. She is the last living connection to DJ. She was his dog. I have memories of him with her when he was living and I have memories of her looking for him after he passed away. I didn't know that dogs grieved, that pets grieved but I certainly learned that they do after DJ passed away. For weeks after his death she would push DJ's door open to his room and go lay on his bed.
Hershey either has a terrible infection or cancer. They are running tests on her and she will be at the vet overnight. I am not ready to lose her yet. I don't want her to be in pain and I would not be selfish enough to keep her alive just for me but I am not ready to lose that connection yet.
I have memories of DJ walking her with my husband, I have memories of her leaving a dead half of a rabbit by his bed as a gift and him screaming at the top of his lungs for me to remove it. She created memories with him and she has kept a lot of that alive. I don't have the same kind of memories when I see his bike and certainly not his skateboard stuff. She is a living memory of DJ and it becomes another loss. I further loss that is attached to DJ.
There is so much fall out after a child dies and so much further loss--loss that can happen years later-6 years later for us with Hershey. I am hoping she will be fine but eventually it will happen and eventually it will trigger grief. Grief beyond the loss of her, grief attached to DJ.
I don't think people who have not lost a child understand how important the child's pet is to us. I know people who had their child's dog attend the funeral. There are families that have buried their child's dog alongside of their child's grave. I know people who had to take in their adult child's dogs.
I have no challenge today except that if you are not a bereaved parent you have some understanding for those of us that may act strange at times, or atleast act in a way YOU may think is strange. Lisa
Hershey either has a terrible infection or cancer. They are running tests on her and she will be at the vet overnight. I am not ready to lose her yet. I don't want her to be in pain and I would not be selfish enough to keep her alive just for me but I am not ready to lose that connection yet.
I have memories of DJ walking her with my husband, I have memories of her leaving a dead half of a rabbit by his bed as a gift and him screaming at the top of his lungs for me to remove it. She created memories with him and she has kept a lot of that alive. I don't have the same kind of memories when I see his bike and certainly not his skateboard stuff. She is a living memory of DJ and it becomes another loss. I further loss that is attached to DJ.
There is so much fall out after a child dies and so much further loss--loss that can happen years later-6 years later for us with Hershey. I am hoping she will be fine but eventually it will happen and eventually it will trigger grief. Grief beyond the loss of her, grief attached to DJ.
I don't think people who have not lost a child understand how important the child's pet is to us. I know people who had their child's dog attend the funeral. There are families that have buried their child's dog alongside of their child's grave. I know people who had to take in their adult child's dogs.
I have no challenge today except that if you are not a bereaved parent you have some understanding for those of us that may act strange at times, or atleast act in a way YOU may think is strange. Lisa
Thanks for sharing. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI read your blog and my heart aches for you. Like you I grieve the loss of my son. It has been a little over two years. The pain still so very real; no one can possibly understand our journey. I hope that Hersey is okay and that for awhile you get to hold on to a piece of DJ. God Bless...
ReplyDeleteWe did end up having to put Hershey down, she had cancer. WE got her cremated but will spread her ashes over a place that DJ, my husband and she would take walks at. Lisa
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) know the feeling all too well
ReplyDelete