Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The world reminded me of DJ's death today

Today I received a package in the mail for DJ.  He would have been 18 years old this year and oddly enough a package from Procter and Gamble came today for him saying Happy 18th Birthday from Gillette.  It was full of deodorant and razers, etc-a marketing piece that came to a child that is not alive.  Apparently this company did not get the heads up that DJ passed away almost 5 years ago.  I receive college information occasionally for him still--he would be a junior this year and it would have been the time to decide on college.  I get ACT/SAT information for him also.  I know these companies get information when our children are born, or when they start school, but do they not get the death announcement as well?  Apparently not. 

I remember the year DJ passed away and I had to do my taxes.  I looked on the tax return and DJ was not listed as a dependent.  He passed away in October-so in my opinion he would have been a deduction for 10 months of that year.  I even called my accountant and he said "No the government does not allow you to claim a child for the year they died."  The government apparently decided he didn't live at all that year. 

I am very glad the razor package didn't come a few months after DJ passed away because I would not have survived it very well--it would have sent me into a hole--the world thinking he was still alive, a life gone too soon.

What is the outside world doing that is reminding you that your child is gone?  Is it a bill from before they died?  Is it a package that comes in the mail that they ordered and were never able to receive?  Is it a youth group that is doing an outing that your child was supposed to be at?  Is it a promotion that their friend got in their place at work?  The list goes on and on--I am only writing this today to make the bereaved parent beware--that things can come in the mail very unexpectedly-that when you are not looking something will pop up from the world that will remind you a little extra that your child is not alive.

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