Tuesday, December 7, 2010


A dear friend of mine who has lost a son told me she was feeling melancholy lately and couldn't seem to shake it. I had to agree with her that my household feels the same way, it is a heaviness that won't go away. It lingers about like a fog.

I decided to look up the word in the dictionary and this is what it says...melancholy is a depression of the spirit, depressed in spirit.

Maybe this means our spirits are depressed. Jesus' Holy Spirit that resides in us is depressed. How does that happen?

This is my theory-(please forgive my hypothesis here it is only a guess and I am not a theological expert)---I think that we as parents have prayed for years about our children, we have prayed for their safety, for their relationships, for their futures and after they are gone we are lost too. I think this lost sense begins to fester into a loss of faith---where was God when my son was dying? Why did He not protect him or save him? There are a million questions we can ask God and until we are all reunited we generally don't get the answers, or atleast the ones we want. Anyway, this doubt can fester in our spirit as well. We lose faith, we hurt our spirit. Our spirit grieves our doubts, it grieves the loss of our children. God grieves with us too.

Is melancholy the grief the Holy Spirit feels within us? Perhaps, I don't know but it makes sense to me.

Bigger question is how do I take myself from this melancholy? How can I look beyond my own pain and be thankful to God for the things He has done for me? How do I remember that He is still walking with me everyday, every second and has held me up when I could no longer stand?

This I do through a relationship with Christ, through His word, through prayer--the three legs of a footstool. Without one of them the chair tips-I need all three to continue to stand up and be strong.

My challenge to myself is to find a scripture today to stand on--a scripture that can give my spirit confidence and faith. A scripture I can pray that will take me from melancholy to nonmelancholy (okay I know that seems to be poor grammer but I can't see the word joyful coming into this today).

I challenge you all today to get into His word and get guidance from Him as well--He does not want our Spirit grieved, it is not a weak spirit He has within us-we need to find our faith and strength in Him

Today I challenge myself and all of you to find strength in God's word and in Him. With His strength perhaps the melancholy will release and float away--

(Update--ebook will be out next week, my guy is doing last of webpage work this week. Actual hard copy book within 4-6 business weeks--will keep everyone in the loop!)

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