Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A dieing plant

There is a plant at my in-laws house that is dieing. Everytime I walk by the plant it bothers me. I have watered it, I have told my mother in law that it needs water and the water ball thingies aren't working anymore. The plant is in a prominent corner of her home, there is a white bow in the pot--it once was beautiful and full of shiny leaves. It once looked for the sun to shine and was drawn to it.

She tells me it needs replanted and that she has the dirt. I hate seeing the plant's leaves drooping and hanging. I hate seeing the brown beginning to show and I absolutely hate the curling the leaves are beginning to do. It no longer looks for the sun to shine, it just droops in disregard.

I hate walking by this plant because it is a plant I gave my mother in law from DJ's funeral. It is a plant the has survived over 4 years since DJ passed away and it is beginning to die. I don't think she understands how important this plant is to me. I don't think she realizes that this is a piece of DJ that she is allowing to die. I don't think she undersands how much I hate seeing it die. I cringe when I pass by it, it causes me to think of DJ's funeral whenever I see it and seeing it die does not make me happy.

The dieing plant has made me realize that people forget. I knew this fact, I know this fact but I guess I thought my mother in law (that family) wouldn't forget as quickly as some. I thought she would get the fact that an unimportant plant is still important to me even 4 years later.

I get it, I truly do. I can't remember the anniversary date's of my friends that have lost children. It is not that I have forgotten their child I just can't remember their death dates. I have a hard enough time trying to remember what the actual date is on the calender. So I get it, life is fast, life continues, life goes on.

Well for those of you that have not lost children, this is how we feel when our children's things are no longer treasured. When their name is no longer said. We feel hurt when things that we consider precious are no longer considered to be by others. When our children are forogtten we absolutely hate it.

That plant is dieing. I will have to repot it and bring it back to life because it is part of my memory of DJ. The leaves no longer reach for the son but DJ reached for THE SON. The leaves are lack luster and drooping while DJ will forever be perfect in His Glory.

As readers who have not lost children do not judge us for wanting the "plants" to stay shiny and new. Don't judge us or get concerned when we are still hanging onto things that our child touched or loved. These things will always be important to us, they may lose some of their luster throughout the years, the memories may fade regarding the objects but still we want these things held in high respect, in respect to our children and their memory.

If you have a plant, a toy, a piece of clothing, anything that was one of our children's please give it the respect and honor it still deserves--in honor of our child.

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