Don't judge me

Today is DJ's 19th birthday

Today I wish I could bake a cake with Star wars characters on it--don't judge me
I still like to hear stories about DJ after almost 6years-don't judge me
I cannot go to his best friend's graduation party, too painful-don't judge me
I miss him everyday still-don't judge me
I would have traded my life for his-don't judge me
I think I have been robbed of much-don't judge me
I know my children have been robbed of their brother-don't judge me
I want you to say his name-don't judge me
At the sound of his name I can still cry huge tears-don't judge me
It makes me irate that people abuse their children and I lost mine-don't judge me
I cannot go to his cemetary-again too painful-don't judge me
I have compared DJ's siblings to him-don't judge me
I cannot dream of DJ-don't judge me
I am not doing DJ's day this year-don't judge me
I don't watch the news--too painful still after 6 years-don't judge me
I have a connection with other bereaved parent's that is deeper than most of my relationships-don't judge me
I still miss him-don't judge me
I still cry sometimes-don't judge me
I don't want you to tell me you "know how it feels"-don't judge me
The death of your dog isn't the same-don't judge me
I cannot wait to hug those bony shoulders again in heaven-don't judge me
I get angry when people take their children for granted-don't judge me
I get sad when I see other teenagers where DJ should be and ISN'T-don't judge me
I still love my boy even though he isn't physically with me--don't judge me