Saturday, January 14, 2012

A park and a memory

     For those of you who may not know, I am also a real estate agent, besides a homeschool mom, a blogger, a writer and a speaker, etc, etc.(What Mom doesn't have twenty hats?).  I took four years off after DJ passed away and got back into the business just last year. 
     Today I got to show a young couple some homes, they are shopping for their first house and ofcourse it is exciting for them and me--I love watching someone fall in love with a house right in front of my eyes.  As we were driving today I passed a park called "Golden Rod" park.  This park is a huge place of importance to me....
     When DJ was a young boy he did flag football, he was on a team called the Goldenrods. They practiced at this exact park and I have many memories associated with this place and this team--three of the memories are extremely sad.
      Three of the boys on that very small team have passed away.  DJ was the first, dear reader if you don't know DJ hit his head while skateboarding at the age of 13 and never regained consciousness. 
One boy on the team was diagnosed with terminal cancer the same year the boys played football together.  He  passed away just a few years ago.  Within the same week of the second boy's death  another boy from the team was in a horrible car accident and passed away.  Three boys on a team of 18, three boys gone too soon, three family's lives were forever changed.
      Why am I telling you all this today?  For a few reasons---1. There are a lot of triggers for grief (today I did not fall into a hole, but a few years ago that park could have done it).  When we as bereaved parent's see a park, see food at the grocery store, see a boy walking along a road that looks like our child, see the world at all we can have a trigger for our grief.  The memories associated with food, places, events, etc are everywhere.  To those of you who have not experienced this hell, be patient with us when something triggers our pain that you don't understand.   2.  Death is everywhere and just because you don't see it doesn't mean you are immune to it.  I couldn't imagine that DJ would be gone years later after being on a football team with a terminally ill child.  That other child I knew would die someday just from the diagnosis but they were "that family, the other people, them".  Oddly enough, I turned into "that family, the other people, them". It is a horrible reality but it is mine  3. We are all just a life decision or a phone call from death and tragedy. It may not seem a happy thought to pass along but it is true.  We could be that person in just a heartbeat, or worse yet, in the lack of a heartbeat we do become that person.
     I don't have a challenge for any of you, I don't have any great advice to offer.  My main statement today is just to say "Be kinder to those around you today because you don't know how much longer you will have any of them."  God bless and much love, Lisa--forever DJ's mom

1 comment:

  1. Lisa - this is so true. And we never know what or when that trigger will happen. If could be running in our child's friends an seeing their children. It could see the advertisement of a movie that our child loved. And the food in the grocery story!!!!! I did not realize how much I bought food based on my families individual likes and dislikes. I can not walk pass Granny Smith apples or green grapes or Spin Blend salad dressing or sizzlean bacon without thinking of my son. I only bought those (and other items) because he loved them. The first time I went grocery shopping after his death, I ended up having to walk out of the grocery story with my cart partly full. I couldn't take it. I apologized to the owner - but he knew my son and he totally understood. Told me to leave, it would be no problem.

    No one ever knows when it will be their child or grandchild.

    Excellent post