Today I got to show a young couple some homes, they are shopping for their first house and ofcourse it is exciting for them and me--I love watching someone fall in love with a house right in front of my eyes. As we were driving today I passed a park called "Golden Rod" park. This park is a huge place of importance to me....
When DJ was a young boy he did flag football, he was on a team called the Goldenrods. They practiced at this exact park and I have many memories associated with this place and this team--three of the memories are extremely sad.
Three of the boys on that very small team have passed away. DJ was the first, dear reader if you don't know DJ hit his head while skateboarding at the age of 13 and never regained consciousness.
One boy on the team was diagnosed with terminal cancer the same year the boys played football together. He passed away just a few years ago. Within the same week of the second boy's death another boy from the team was in a horrible car accident and passed away. Three boys on a team of 18, three boys gone too soon, three family's lives were forever changed.
Why am I telling you all this today? For a few reasons---1. There are a lot of triggers for grief (today I did not fall into a hole, but a few years ago that park could have done it). When we as bereaved parent's see a park, see food at the grocery store, see a boy walking along a road that looks like our child, see the world at all we can have a trigger for our grief. The memories associated with food, places, events, etc are everywhere. To those of you who have not experienced this hell, be patient with us when something triggers our pain that you don't understand. 2. Death is everywhere and just because you don't see it doesn't mean you are immune to it. I couldn't imagine that DJ would be gone years later after being on a football team with a terminally ill child. That other child I knew would die someday just from the diagnosis but they were "that family, the other people, them". Oddly enough, I turned into "that family, the other people, them". It is a horrible reality but it is mine 3. We are all just a life decision or a phone call from death and tragedy. It may not seem a happy thought to pass along but it is true. We could be that person in just a heartbeat, or worse yet, in the lack of a heartbeat we do become that person.
I don't have a challenge for any of you, I don't have any great advice to offer. My main statement today is just to say "Be kinder to those around you today because you don't know how much longer you will have any of them." God bless and much love, Lisa--forever DJ's mom