Eventually I gathered myself together well enough to go to the group without anyone noticing the tears I had during the drive. As I entered the coffee shop where we were to meet I recognized the cashier. I wasn't certain where I had seen her before but was very much aware that I knew her somehow. As I placed my order for coffee and a roll I asked her how I knew her. She told me she had gone to Rumsey Station elementary school, I asked her how old she was and upon that I knew how I knew her. She had gone to school with DJ, same age, same grade, same school.
So "Okay God, why are you putting all this is in my path today?" I have often talked to you all about being aware of triggers but here I was minding my own business and got his twice in a row and hard. I felt like I had been hit by a 2 by 4, cold on, square and hard. Why did God put all this in my path today? I have no idea.
Why did any of us lose our precious children? I don't know
Why do any of us have to endure this world and it's pain? I don't know
Why do we have so much fall out after we lose a child? I don't know
Why does this grief live on so long? Because we loved and still love our children so much.
I don't have the answers today, I only know I lost my precious son and the world reminded me of it yet again today when I wasn't even looking---Be careful out there dearest friends