Today I received a package in the mail for DJ. He would have been 18 years old this year and oddly enough a package from Procter and Gamble came today for him saying Happy 18th Birthday from Gillette. It was full of deodorant and razers, etc-a marketing piece that came to a child that is not alive. Apparently this company did not get the heads up that DJ passed away almost 5 years ago. I receive college information occasionally for him still--he would be a junior this year and it would have been the time to decide on college. I get ACT/SAT information for him also. I know these companies get information when our children are born, or when they start school, but do they not get the death announcement as well? Apparently not.
I remember the year DJ passed away and I had to do my taxes. I looked on the tax return and DJ was not listed as a dependent. He passed away in October-so in my opinion he would have been a deduction for 10 months of that year. I even called my accountant and he said "No the government does not allow you to claim a child for the year they died." The government apparently decided he didn't live at all that year.
I am very glad the razor package didn't come a few months after DJ passed away because I would not have survived it very well--it would have sent me into a hole--the world thinking he was still alive, a life gone too soon.
What is the outside world doing that is reminding you that your child is gone? Is it a bill from before they died? Is it a package that comes in the mail that they ordered and were never able to receive? Is it a youth group that is doing an outing that your child was supposed to be at? Is it a promotion that their friend got in their place at work? The list goes on and on--I am only writing this today to make the bereaved parent beware--that things can come in the mail very unexpectedly-that when you are not looking something will pop up from the world that will remind you a little extra that your child is not alive.
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