I know of a family that lived in a very nice home. It wasn't too big, it wasn't too little. It was just the right size just like the Three Bear's home. The walls of the home were lined with pictures of memories. Toys were scattered about, little hands had their smell on them. Rooms were full of love and joy. The home was full of life and energy. Wonderful stories were told in the home, great memories were made in the house. The home smelled of baking, smelled of children, smelled of memories.
One day a tragedy occured. The home was ablazed in fire. There was no way the family could stop the fire, it came and took away everything they owned. All the memories, all the pictures, all the wonderful things that made the house a home were gone. It took only moments, there was no time to beg or try to make the fire stop. The fire chief told them it was hopeless and there was nothing he could do to save the home. The husband pleaded, the wife prayed, the children cried but nothing could be done in the end. A fire takes everything.
It took almost four years for the house to be rebuilt. Things had to be figured out, like where would the children's rooms be. Where would the location be. What type of roof, what type of walls, what the lay out would be. So many decisions that the family had taken for granted had to be remade, even where the toilet roll would attach to the wall. Everything, every small detail had to be decided upon, rethought and rethought again. Eventually the family moved back into the home but it wasn't the same. Copies of photos were on the wall, fresh paint was on the walls, new carpet, new memories were being made but it just wasn't the same. The family eventually assimulated into the new home, into their new world but they always missed the old home. The old memories were the ones they missed and though the new house was fresh and clean it just wasn't the same. In the end they accepted what happened to their old home and lived in the new one, the new world that was created after the fire.
Do you know who this family was? It was me, it was the neighbor you know that lost a child. Their life before their child's death was just right, not too big, not too little. They were happiest there. Fast forward and the doctor has told them there is no hope, no chance of survival and their lives have been charred and changed forever. This new life they now have is like that new house, the footings are the same, the 2by4's are there but it is not the same. Our life is now so different, everything can look almost right, almost new and perfect but our lives, their lives are never going to be the same. A fire, a death takes everything away-it takes our creativity. Death takes away our decision making process, our mind has to reteach, reevaluate almost all decisions, even the smallest ones.
A house fire and the death of a child are both horrible, both are devasting to a family. The house can be rebuilt, a child cannot. Memories can be added to but never, ever will they be complete. Please remember those near you that have lost children--give them an extra hug today. Their life has forever been changed and no time, no brick and mortar can ever make it complete again!!
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